Happy Without Him
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Getting over a broken heart is never easy. It hurts to have your heart broken. When your heart is breaking, the last thing you want to hear is that one day you will be happy without him. Your longing is to have a relationship with him; not without him.
Putting on the dress he loves, you show up at his place willing to do whatever necessary to convince him you are the one for him.
Having a warm body to hold you numbs the pain until you are reminded in the in the morning that the relationship is over. You realize that the only thing that has changed is the dress you changed out of the night before.
Someone said, “Sorrow is the gateway to lasting happiness".
In the familiar story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:17-24, I discovered some valuable lessons for unrequited love and how to be happy without him:
¹⁷“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! ¹⁸I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
²⁰“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. ²¹And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
²²“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. ²³And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ²⁴And they began to be merry.
Lesson 1 (verse 17):
Consider where you are. Don’t minimize or make excuses for the relationship. Reflecting on what is not right about the relationship helps you to not forget the good you deserve to have. Keep a journal so you can read what those things are when you are tempted to contact him.
Lesson 2 (verse 18a):
Choose to pursue God. We make idols of relationships when we pursue them more than God. Nobody is worth your pursuit for their love, attention, and validation. If you have to convince someone to love you, he clearly is not the person for you. Surrender your desire for the relationship to Jesus. Seek Jesus to heal your broken heart.
Lesson 3 (verses 18b & 21):
Confess your sins. Blaming someone else for your unhappiness or sin is not taking responsibility for your actions. The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us” (1 John 1:9). Humbly ask God’s forgiveness for not keeping Him at the center of your relationship and for allowing the relationship to go out of bounds. Forgive yourself and forgive the one who broke your heart whether you think he deserves it or not.
Lesson 4 (verse 20):
Compassion Never Fails. No matter how distant you travel from God, His love is there to welcome you back with open arms. There is nothing you can do to make God stop loving you. Lamentations 3:22 beautifully expresses, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail”.
Lesson 5 (verses 22-24):
Celebrate. Enjoy being happy again. Your happiness and interests got lost along the way trying to make a relationship that wasn’t working work. Thank God for healing your heart and making it happy. Reinvent yourself and live your best life.
Prayer: Thank you Jesus that broken hearts don’t last forever. I am so grateful that in all things (even broken hearts) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).