Becoming Debbie (Part 1)

And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.

2 Corinthians 3:18


1. the process of coming to be something.

We all are becoming something. The choices we make today will affect the person we are becoming tomorrow. The choices I made while single certainly shaped my becoming when I got married.

A question I often ask single women who desire marriage is, “What choices are you making now in your singleness that will help shape your becoming a godly woman or becoming a godly wife?”

Christian women who desire marriage shouldn’t expect that saying “I do” will automatically make them become godly wives. It begins with making godly choices before marriage. Trust me when I say that you shouldn’t wait until you are married to work on becoming a godly woman or a godly wife, because you are going to need every ounce of godliness to stay married.

Phillip Holmes in his article, Single You Will Be the Married You says: The sins that entangle you, as a single, will inevitably continue to entangle you in marriage. Nevertheless, singles shouldn’t kill sin simply because you want to be good spouses; you should kill it because you want to live happy and holy lives, whatever your marital status.

Lust, for example, is one of those sins that will entangle you in marriage if you allow it to entangle you while single. Nothing has destroyed more marriages than lust, because a ring on his or her finger is not a prescription to keep lust away. Unless you choose self-control and have a desire to please God when lust desires to crave its way into your heart, you are likely to have challenges in this area once you are married.

God understands that our becoming is a gradual process. Even when we make choices that are different from His will, God can make our lives beautiful when we seek His forgiveness and return to Him. His Word says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

The choice to rededicate my life to Jesus one night at a revival greatly shaped me into becoming the woman God intended. Little did I know that my obedience to God that night would lead to His blessing my life in ways I never imagined.

My single life as a Christian was becoming what I wanted. I realized that night that if I had stayed on my trajectory of pursuing a romantic relationship more than Jesus, having sex to feel loved or valued, and allowing my relationship status to define me, I would end up like the woman at the well thirsty for love and never satisfied.

Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!”

—John 4:16–18

God’s plan is never to leave us the same as He found us. Lives were changed when the Samaritan woman ran throughout the town telling her story.

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

—John 4:28–30

In reading her inspiring book, Becoming Michelle, Former First Lady Michelle Obama had me at the front cover when she issued the challenge: “Who are we and who do we want to become?”

One of the biggest takeaways that the book taught me is the importance of our stories, how they unite us, and how we need to be open and let people in. Recently, I was open with a new single friend about my life. It is her words after hearing my story that have grabbed my attention and stuck in my mind.

She said, “Your story will rock the singles and the married world. Your testimony will cause an entire generation to save themselves until marriage. Your story will help marriages stay together and understand what truly matters”.

Her words left me speechless.

We all have a story about how God transforms us into the likeness of Jesus whose chapters need to be written and shared. I often wonder how many people have gone to their graves with stories untold. Stories that are not pretty but God’s transforming power has made beautiful; stories that can change generations to come.

God’s ultimate goal for Christians is becoming like Jesus. There is no better becoming than that.

Becoming Debbie….To Be Continued

Becoming Debbie (Part 1)
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